Chapter One, Verses One through Six

1. In the Beginning, God created the Aircraft Carrier, and the seas upon which it floateth; and yet there was complete Darkness upon the face of the earth.  And, as we traveled, there came to us, as a voice out of the darkness, an Angel of the Lord, saying, "On centerline, on glideslope, three quarters of a mile, call the ball."  I reflected upon these words, for I was still yet engulfed in complete darkness.  With deep feeling and doubt overwhelming my countenance, I glanceth towards my companion at my right hand and saith, "What seeth thou, trusted friend?", and there was a great silence.  Gazing in a searching manner and seeing naught, my companion saith, "Nothing but darkness above and darkness below."

2. And God spoke to me, and He said, "Low ball....power".  As the Lord saith, so shall it be, and I added power; and lo, the ball riseth up onto the bottom of the mirror. But, alas, it had a tainted flashing red glow, and surely indicateth Satan's own malignant influence. And God spoke to me again in a loud insistent voice saying, "Power...Power, Power!!!!" And lo, the ball riseth up and off the top of the lens, and once more the great evil darkness was upon me.

3. And the voice of the Angel came to me again, saying, "When twelve hundred feet, turn downwind."  Whereupon I wandered in the darkness, abandoned and without direction, for surely the great ship's RADAR was beset by demons.  There was great confusion in my heart and then there was a great silence in which there was no comfort to be found.  Even my TACAN needle spinneth......and lo, there was chaos; my trusted right-seat companion weepeth quietly unto himself and from close behind I heard weeping and gnashing of teeth of our flock.  There was a great turmoil within my EA-6B cockpit for a multitude of serpents had crept therein.

4. And though we wandered, as if guided by Providence, I found myself within that Holy Corridor and at twelve hundred feet seeking refuge for myself and my bretheren; and the voice of the Angel of the Lord came to me again, asking of me my needles, and I raised my voice saying, "Up and centered", and the voice answered, "Roger, fly your needles...."  I reflected upon these words, and I raised my voice in prayer, for though my gyro indicateth it not so, surely my wings hath been turned upside down. Verily, as Beelzebub surely wrestled with me, a voice, that of my trusted companion, saith to me calmly, "Friend.....fly thy needles, and find comfort in the Lord."  And lo, with deep trembling in my heart, I did, and He guideth me to the glideslope and centerline, though I know not how it came to be.

5. And out of the great darkness, God spoke to me again and I replied: "Roger ball" for now I had faith, mine eyes have been opened and seeth the magnificent orange ball within a frame of green. And though the ball began to rise as I cometh to the gates of heaven, my left hand was full of the Spirit, and it squeeketh off power and as in a great miracle we hath forthwith stoppeth in heaven, for we hath caught the four wire which God, in his infinite wisdom, hath placed thirty feet further down the deck than the three wire.

6. And thus bathed in a golden radiance from above, our pilgrimage was at an end, and my spirit was truly reborn and ready to again take flight among the angels of heaven.  And as I basked in the rapture, God spoketh to me one final time, and He saith in a loud voice, "Lights out on deck". Thus did I taxi forward.

  7. Though I frequently walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I have no fear, for I am a 26 year old Naval Aviator and I am absolutely f...ing BULLETPROOF!!!

Amen